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Zuckerberg Coldly Explains To Facebook Staff They Are Now To Be Known As 'Metamates' (boingboing.net) 208

Posted by BeauHD from the even-more-reasons-to-resign dept.
In an all-hands meeting at Meta "explaining the company's updated values," Mark Zuckerberg says employees are not supposed to "nice ourselves to death," adding that they are now to be known as "Metamates."

According to the Daily Beast, citing long-time executive Andrew Bosworth, "the term was coined by the cognitive scientist Douglas Hofstadter and is a play on the naval-inspired slogan used at Instagram: 'ship, shipmates, self.'"
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Zuckerberg Coldly Explains To Facebook Staff They Are Now To Be Known As 'Metamates' More

Zuckerberg Coldly Explains To Facebook Staff They Are Now To Be Known As 'Metamates'

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  • both sides (Score:5, Insightful)

    by guygo ( 894298 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:03AM (#62272093)

    Google says "Do no evil", Facebook says "Don't nice yourself to death." Yeah, that's about right, huh>

  • Corporate cult? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by fjorder ( 5219645 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:15AM (#62272109)
    Smells like a cult to me :) https://hbr.org/2019/05/is-you... [hbr.org]

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

      Being a sailor is not normally associated with good working conditions. Seems fitting for Facebook.

      • Re: (Score:3)

        by Entrope ( 68843 )

        Has anyone yet claimed that the traditions of Instagram are rum, sodomy and the lash [theguardian.com]?

      • In general that's probably true. However, it is said that the food is pretty good, and you get to drink and swear a lot.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

          Are you talking about Facebook or sailors? Either way I think the food is dire.

          • Well, I've toured a few museum ships, and that's what I was told. That good food was one of a very few perks of serving in what was otherwise a pretty unpleasant and treacherous environment, even whilst not at war.

            As for as FB / Meta: no idea really; I live too far away to know anyone who works there now or did in the past.

            • Re: (Score:2)

              by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

              Interesting. What sort of time period? I studied the Victorian and earlier eras at school, and food on ships was a constant source of health problems. The reason Brits are sometimes called "Limeys" is because they had to eat limes for vitamin C, as they didn't have any source of anything else that could be taken on ship. The booze was to mask the stale taste, as before refrigeration they had to rely on stuff they could preserve other ways.

              • I'm referring to more modern times (e.g., WW2 and forward).

                By this time, the basics of nutritional science and medicine were in place, and I'm sure they were factored into the decision to provide sailors with a reasonably decent diet.

                (That science regressed in the postwar period, as it became politically influenced, but in the past 20 years it has finally started to swing back in the right direction.)

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by ceoyoyo ( 59147 )

        Any modern sailor would look at the order in that slogan and shiver.

    • Smells like a cult to me :) https://hbr.org/2019/05/is-you... [hbr.org]

      That article is interesting in that it seems unaware that "cult" and "culture" share the same roots: https://www.merriam-webster.co... [merriam-webster.com]. A quote from that page:

      "Cult, which shares an origin with culture and cultivate, comes from the Latin cultus, a noun with meanings ranging from "tilling, cultivation" to "training or education" to "adoration." In English, cult has evolved a number of meanings following a fairly logical path. The earliest known uses of the word, recorded in the 17th century, broadly denote

  • Still a step up from Fac-Buddies. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Dirk Becher ( 1061828 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:32AM (#62272135)

    Their glass is half full.

  • That's Comcastic (Score:5, Funny)

    by WankerWeasel ( 875277 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:34AM (#62272139)
    I worked for Time Warner Cable as the local division transitioned to Comcast. I'd put in my 2-week notice so I didn't care about any of it. In the transition meetings, they'd talk about how everything was Comcastic! and refer to people as Comcasters. I sent an email to about 200 people saying, "Hub 6 is down, it's a Comcaastrophe!" My boss' boss stopped by my desk to tell me it was hilarious but the incoming overlords might not find it so funny. When I told him I was on the way out, he laughed and said in that case feel free to keep it up.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward

      My overlord is currently being acquired (hence the anon post), and already the nonsense is on:
      No more new hardware, wait until merger so all have same hw, otherwise there would be fingerpointing who came from where.
      Discussions are starting about how to name members of the newly formed cult.
      Interesting was that half the current employees didn't bother to fill in our yearly engagement survey (compared to a fifth last year). The rest had (unsurprisingly) pretty much the same distribution as last year.
      A lot of

  • They're really, though, (Score:5, Funny)

    by Åke Malmgren ( 3402337 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:36AM (#62272147)
    ...Zuckers.
  • I can see this going well for employees who have to answer to a human resources department.

  • ... wtf (Score:5, Funny)

    by locater16 ( 2326718 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:59AM (#62272187)
    At this point I almost expect Zuck's next press conference to announce he has a doomsday device, and the world leaders should bow down to their lizardmen masters. Which the humans are to call their High Lizardnesses at all times because your device is watching and they'll know.

    • And he'll have a pinky in his mouth when he says it.

      Not his pinky, though, but some innocent bystander's he just consumed.

    • At this point I almost expect Zuck's next press conference to announce he has a doomsday device, and the world leaders should bow down to their lizardmen masters. Which the humans are to call their High Lizardnesses at all times because your device is watching and they'll know.

      Look, we do NOT need Alex Jones to come out of the woodwork and say "I told you so!".

    • At this point I almost expect Zuck's next press conference to announce he has a doomsday device, and the world leaders should bow down to their lizardmen masters. Which the humans are to call their High Lizardnesses at all times because your device is watching and they'll know.

      We still get to vote for which lizard is our master. Just make sure you vote for the right lizard.

  • Could be worse (Score:5, Funny)

    by warp_kez ( 711090 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @06:59AM (#62272193)

    they could be called Zuckers.

    • Re: Could be worse (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Fons_de_spons ( 1311177 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @07:16AM (#62272221)
      That's one step closer to depersonalisation... Why not introduce uniforms? With degrees. The more meta you are, the nicer the uniform... IT guys managing people...

      • Plenty of companies have their staff wearing a (t)shirt with their logo on it. Does that count as a uniform? There's nothing wrong with uniforms in the right place , eg military, police, transport/shop staff , and military aside they're not depersonalising, they're there to inform the public what your job is.

        • Re:Define a uniform (Score:5, Informative)

          by BadDreamer ( 196188 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @08:14AM (#62272351) Homepage

          In military they are there to depersonalize. You are an asset. Not a person. The whole military system of designations and language is intended to remove emotion and personalization and instead lead to a thought pattern of objectives and objectification.

          A big problem with police is that they adopt the same systems.

          • Re: (Score:2)

            by hey! ( 33014 )

            Uniforms are used for many reasons, the chief is to differentiate someone who is part of the organization from someone who is not. This is true for both militaries and fast food restaurants. In international law it is a war crime to dress soldiers as civilians.

            Police uniforms and ranks were originally meant distinguish policemen both from the general public AND the military. This was because Robert Peel's purpose in introducing the modern police force was to forestall the use of military forces to maintai

        • Plenty of companies have their staff wearing a (t)shirt with their logo on it. Does that count as a uniform? There's nothing wrong with uniforms in the right place , eg military, police, transport/shop staff , and military aside they're not depersonalising, they're there to inform the public what your job is.

          That's an interesting question. I have clothing provided that does have a logo on it to identify my authority. But I don't have to wear specific items - there are a lot of options, and it doesn't look "uniformy" anyhow. No one would consider it "work clothing"

          I think most people think of a uniform as something military or Officer of the Law clothing. But I guess it covers a spectrum. We have the obvious examples, but then there are people who wear those work clothes like say, a Janitor. They tend to wear.

      • Re: Could be worse (Score:4, Funny)

        by gosso920 ( 6330142 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @09:27AM (#62272475)
        Will they be told to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair?

    • They could be called Zubins.

    • Re: (Score:3)

      by Orlando ( 12257 )

      Surely the users of Facebook are the Zuckers?

    • Face it, they're all Zucked.

  • How to demoralise staff 101 (Score:5, Insightful)

    by DrXym ( 126579 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @07:31AM (#62272271)
    Pick a really demeaning word to describe their role in the company - something that takes away any free agency they do have. A really fucking stupid word or phrase to describe what they mean to the company, an interchangeable, replaceable cog in the machine who has no free will or spirit. Something meaningless and trite like "metamate". Yup mission accomplished.
    • My immediate thought was the parallel between Playboy and Playmates. So... yeah.

  • When they exit FB, they'll be ready for their next job: doing gig work for PostMates.

    They'll be able to show some experience, see?

  • It's a bit like G.Os of the ClubMed.

  • Is there a point? Is this designed to retain talent, or make existing talent work for effectively? Is it meant to help recruit talent? It seems overly childish to me, like making up a name for your 'gang' when you were 7.
  • And, for all you good little Metamates, here's some free Metamucil. That will ensure you stay close to the office.

  • Maybe focus group that... (Score:3)

    by fuzzyfuzzyfungus ( 1223518 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @08:00AM (#62272315) Journal
    Am I the only one who heard 'metamates' and thought "as in 'inmates'; but at 'meta'" rather than "as in shipmates, obviously"?

    Because seriously Zuck, this probably isn't a point in your PR trajectory where you need to start using a term for 'employees' that sounds like it comes out of b-list dystopian sci-fi where undesirables are condemned to a virtual augmented penal environment.

  • TRANSITION COMPLETE! (Score:3)

    by jddj ( 1085169 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @08:09AM (#62272343) Journal

    FaceBall 1 has now become...

    MetaMate! ...Zuck!...Zuck!...Zuck!...

  • Are "metamates" being:

    -> Mated to The Meta
    -> Mating with The Meta
    -> Getting "mated" by The Meta

    My money's on the last one. ;-)

  • Zuckbook (Score:3)

    by TheNameOfNick ( 7286618 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @08:17AM (#62272357)

    You can try renaming that pile of excrement any way you want. The name won't stick.

  • He's a fucking yuppie android from hell

    • I’ve thought about this a bit, why he’s so damn odd. My conclusion is, he launched facebook at age 20, and was a billionaire by 23. The dude has probably not had a ‘normal’ social interaction his entire adult life. He has been absurdly wealthy and in a position of power since almost before he could buy alcohol. That is bound to screw up your social skills and ability to interact normally.

      • The obvious counter-argument is that most people have more social skills by 20 than he has now...

      • Who among us had shit figured out in our early twenties? Most of us go through either the ego-driven self-destructive stage, or the self-destructive because I suck stage. I know I was a mess at that age. Imagine being stuck in that mentality for life because you made your fortune before you pulled out of the tailspin that is young adulthood. You could almost feel bad for the dude, if not for the fact that he's literally destroying society through his power-trips.

  • When you are allowed to sniff your own farts without criticism for too long.

  • Don't spit the dummy, mates don't have a whinge.
    People hate tall poppy syndrome but it's your shout.

    • without having to fire anyone

      Not to mention that the ones who stay behind are likely more malleable and more willing to bend over and grab their ankles when ordered to do so.

  • Wouldn't "met-a-mate" be some website where you can scroll through profiles and click yes on the hot ones? (I also would have accepted "meet a mate" or "meat met".)

  • Douglas Hofstadter (Score:4, Informative)

    by clawsoon ( 748629 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @10:00AM (#62272555)
    ...author of the classic "Gödel, Escher, Bach". Talk about capitalism reducing even the most interesting thinker to a dumb cog in a dumb machine.

  • Let's keep Douglas Hofstadter out of this! (Score:3)

    by turp182 ( 1020263 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @10:10AM (#62272581) Journal

    Seriously, the guy is way to intelligent to be even a side-reference in this conversation.

  • pathetic (Score:3)

    by Tom ( 822 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @10:17AM (#62272605) Homepage Journal

    At least we now know the exact date to write in the "Decline of Facebook" section on Wikipedie.

    This is just... pathetic. It's the most sorry thing I've heard since the dot-com era.

  • Every time I see a photo of him, he looks like he was bitten by a zombie and hopes that nobody will notice.
  • Zuck has lost it, imo.

  • There were nothing "nice" about the Facebook experience at all, I can't imagine why I would want so use a Facebook controlled VR universe, based on Facebook's values and world view.

    • I enjoyed the chance to get back in touch with people from my past who meant a lot to me. I'll always be grateful for that.

      But aside from that, I tend to agree. I consistently got drawn into arguments with people with whom I had nothing in common, and while I could certainly tolerate a certain amount of butt-hattery on the part of others, I very much disliked the fact that over time I became even more of a butt-hat myself.

      I don't see how the metaverse would be any different, and while I'm sure I will get

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by ceoyoyo ( 59147 )

      It's 30% cheaper than the version from Steam or HP.

  • This can only inspire dalek memes. Thumbs up!

  • And now, Jeff Bezos just announced that (Score:5, Funny)

    by bonedonut ( 4687707 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @11:10AM (#62272791)

    Amazon workers will be called Primates.

  • Why not dress them up in Hello-Kitty outfits? Meanwhile, Facebook is a haven for datascrapers. There isn't even a way to complain about them. So, far my complaints have gone unanswered. There's numerous posts like this: what song was famous when you graduated? What word rhymes with your name?
  • It's like "inmate", which is the moniker applied to the incarcerated. It just provides specificity as to the institution of their thrall.

  • The phrase is lame corporate BS, for sure. But where does it say that the employees were told to refer to each other using this term? I mean apart from Boing Boing inferring it? As far as I can tell, Zuck had put this dumb motto in a super corny slide, which was riffing off of Instagram's "Ship, Shipmates, Self" values guideline. Just a dumb corporate meeting catch phrase to sum up their new focus. Tons of big companies do this. It's Meme-worthy, I guess. but not news worthy.

  • ...obscure Scientology speak to me.

  • This is pretty insulting to veterans (Score:5, Informative)

    by Harvey Manfrenjenson ( 1610637 ) on Wednesday February 16, 2022 @01:28PM (#62273365)

    Full disclosure, I'm not a veteran myself-- but I imagine that my dad would have been pretty fucking insulted. Not by the silly term "metamates". But by the idea that a Navy slogan ("ship, shipmates, self") would have any relevance to the employee-employer relationship.

    Let's consider that slogan for a minute. The slogan means that the success and well-being of the ship (or, more broadly, of the ship's mission) takes priority over the success and well-being of the people on the ship. This makes sense (at least, to some people) if the mission of the ship is to defend one's country. The slogan implies that you are willing to risk your well-being, willing to risk your very life, in the service of something greater than yourself. This is why we have Veterans' Day, Memorial Day, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, etc.-- to honor the people who were willing to make that commitment.

    Does this concept apply in any fucking way whatsoever to "Meta" and its various employees? No it does not. Jesus fucking Christ.

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