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Transportation Businesses The Almighty Buck

Why London's Heathrow Airport Sometimes Hosts 'Ghost Flights' With No One on Them (jalopnik.com) 117

An anonymous reader writes: Six times per week, an empty plane used to fly from London's Heathrow Airport to Cardiff, Wales. The next day, the plane would make the return trip without a single passenger. Half As Interesting, the second channel from Planelopnik-approved Wendover Productions, details why ghost flights like this sometimes operate from Britain's biggest airport in his new video. Despite being one of the most crowded airports in the world, Heathrow operates with only two runways. As a result, it's extremely difficult to get a "slot pair" -- rights for airlines to land and take off at a certain time. Only 650 slot pairs exist per day, so airlines are prepared to drop massive cash in order to get prime slot pairs. And they can trade and sell them, too. [...] Should an airline fail to use their slot at least 80 percent of the time, Heathrow will reassign it to the next company on the waiting list.
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Why London's Heathrow Airport Sometimes Hosts 'Ghost Flights' With No One on Them

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  • by Opportunist ( 166417 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:02PM (#56981302)

    Want to bet that we'll see this pop up in some chemtrail conspiracy video within a day?

    • Re:I'm taking bets (Score:5, Insightful)

      by magarity ( 164372 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:11PM (#56981376)

      I had never heard of such a thing until a couple of months ago when someone posted on Nextdoor that there were a lot of 'chemtrails' that day. I corrected him that condensation trails was condensed to 'contrails' and for my trouble got a wild rant about what a naive fool I was to not know about how my mind was being controlled by government spraying. It seemed to me in his case more medication was needed.

      • His mind snapped from the constant attempts at control by advertisers.

      • Re:I'm taking bets (Score:5, Informative)

        by Nidi62 ( 1525137 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:16PM (#56981420)
        I used to work on the ramp of a major airport and let me tell you, those tanks they kept in the cargo holds to store the chemicals were great. The chemicals have to be kept at a constant temperature so the tanks were always cool during the summer and warm during the winter. Good place to relax by if you had some downtime.
        • by Applehu Akbar ( 2968043 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @02:01PM (#56981718)

          The problem with the chemtrail apparatus is not just the tanks, which require lightening the passenger load but the dispenser heads attached to each engine. In-flight turbulence causes the feed to become uneven. That's why in the bad-weather Midwest you get towns that totally swallow the Illuminati conspiracy to the extent that they have Knights Templars parades down Main Street, while the next town over will totally reject the conspiracy.

          • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

            by Anonymous Coward

            I don't know how well-known this is, but from 2005-2008 the valves in the chemtrail dispersal equipment used by about two thirds of the airlines, was cheap shit made by some Chinese company. (This stuff isn't FAA-approved because that would require disclosing its existence, but on the upside that means there are many more bidders and it was really quite competitive. Even the "juice" was cheap as long as you weren't too much of a Nazi about consistency.) The valves would jam often, or spill way-too-high conc

            • MOD UP. (No points, but everyone "in the biz" needs to read this important testimonial)

            • And even though chemtrail fluid is made from domestic StarLink corn, Monsanto's sale to Bayer complicates the manufacturing process. EU agents have now infiltrated the company and could at any time stumble upon the genetic engineering process by which the corn is used to produce the midichlorian-infused fluid.

          • Re: I'm taking bets (Score:4, Informative)

            by UnknowingFool ( 672806 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @03:45PM (#56982262)

            The problem with many of these conspiracy theories is that they often ignore details like logistics which are required to make everything run every single day. Let's take the example of chemtrails.

            The premise is that it is a wide conspiracy that commercial airliners are used to spray extremely potent chemicals into the air at 30,000+ ft. This is extremely unlikely given the many groups that are involved in just loading the chemicals in a plane.

            • Airline pilots because they have to not report the nozzles they find when they visually inspect their planes preflight and also doctor all the paperwork when an extra 1000+ lbs of chemicals is added to a flight.
            • Maintanence crew who have to ignore/hide the tanks, nozzles, etc that are attached to every plane when servicing planes.
            • Ground personnel who have to fill these tanks or ignore the personnel who are filling these tanks who btw are probably wearing full Hazmat suits to avoid poisoning and contamination.
            • Accountants at the airline who have to account for weight on every plane for fuel costs.

            Of those four groups of people, ground personnel and maintenance may not even work for the airline and are mostly likely airport employees and some may be government workers and possibly union workers. So just to load an airplane with chemicals require multiple groups which are private and public employees and may be part of unions to turn a blind eye or outright hide the process.

            • Weight and balance system which helps stating how to make the take off taking into account cargo, and then the staff programming those , or the staff entering data for those which would have to be silent on this (as somebody being in that industry that would make me part of the conspiracy). And then take into account the fact that those chemtrail in summer would be bombarded to heavy UV, not a good thing for most chemicals, a lot would decompose, and then from 30000 foot the amount diluting and coming onto
            • Not to mention the burning question of why aren't we dumping this stuff on Iran, NK, Afghanistan
      • by iCEBaLM ( 34905 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @02:07PM (#56981742)

        Sounds like that guy opened his mind so wide that his brain fell out.

    • by Anonymous Coward

      Want to bet that we'll see this pop up in some chemtrail conspiracy video within a day?

      See, the Deep State has been using them to fool all of us into thinking that there's plenty of air traffic and subsequently the economy is doing great. Of course, add in the bogus unemployment figures too boost people's confidence in the economy.
      Now, exactly who does benefit from an un realistic view of the economy? Yeah, retailers and consumer durable makers like washing machines.

      But WHO exactly NEEDS to have a confident buying public? WHO needs folks to throw caution to the wind and buy their pr

    • by Anonymous Coward

      Dude, those flights aren't empty. All CIA alien renditions between Area 52 (not Area 51, everyone knows about that false flag operation), and the Thai Cave Black Ops facility (why do you think there were so many International SEAL's in the area) use Heathrow as a stop over.

      CAPTCHA = "staged", see The Slashdot Oracle knows the Truth.

  • FUBAR (Score:3, Funny)

    by Thud457 ( 234763 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:11PM (#56981368) Homepage Journal
    Please explain to me again how Capitalism organizes the economy for the most efficient use of resources.




    HA! Trick question. All isms suck.
    • Re:FUBAR (Score:5, Funny)

      by fahrbot-bot ( 874524 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:13PM (#56981390)

      Please explain to me again how Capitalism organizes the economy for the most efficient use of resources.

      Because lower-case letters actually cost more.

    • Re:FUBAR (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:15PM (#56981414)
      True capitalism would have the airport auction off EVERY departure time on the schedule on a daily basis, thank you very much. Actual economies have "friction" which render them sub-optimal. And yes, government bureaucracy is a huge source of friction.
      • by TiggertheMad ( 556308 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @02:32PM (#56981884) Journal
        True capitalism would have the airport auction off EVERY departure time on the schedule on a daily basis, thank you very much. Actual economies have "friction" which render them sub-optimal. And yes, government bureaucracy is a huge source of friction.

        You are correct. True Capitalism would encourage one or two companies to purchase all the slots, and gouge travelers once it had a monopoly on the airport. Unregulated capitalism that only considers pure supply and demand generates its own friction. (In this case in the form of resistance to true competition) I could probably make a pretty solid claim that every sort of economic model has similar levels of overall friction, and that one of the interesting ways of comparing systems would be to analyze where that friction would lay.
        • by Anonymous Coward

          Yes, the airline industry is a natural monopoly industry. High barriers to entry and very low incremental costs, coupled with network effects. We would end up with one airline and super high prices to fly.

      • by AvitarX ( 172628 )

        Capitalism would have the owners of the airport determining if that was the case or not.

        Some airports may run on a daily/hoursly rental (like a hotel)
        Some may run run on a monthly/yearly/many year lease (like a rental)
        Others may sell the slots to the current owner with conditions (like Heathrow does, or a condo)

        There's benefits to both parties for longer term contracts (for example selling permanent access allows long term planning on the part of airlines, and helps get immediate money for funding the build

      • I have no idea why "true capitalism" would require auctioning off every departure time. Buying all departure times from now until forever is definitely something capitalism supports.

      • If you can't have some sort of planning (and make no mistake auctioning of the slot would make some airline unavailable some days) would be utterly nightmare stuff for traveler. Sometimes what you call friction *do* actually provide stability which is required for societies to function, while "friction-less" leaves you , just like physical items, in a state of unstable equilibrium at best, in constant disequilibrium at worst.
      • True capitalism would have the airport auction off EVERY departure time

        Not at all. The airport deciding how to sell it's slots has nothing to do with a political system that allows private ownership. What you are describing is a perfect market a concept nothing at all to do with political structure of company/resource ownership.

    • You're making the wrong assumption. Capitalism doesn't create the most efficient use of resources. Capitalism does create a more efficient use of resources then Socialism. The prime point, at which resources are used most efficiently will be somewhere in between these two extremes.

      • who said anything about efficiency? price is determined by supply and demand. socialism said efficiency...each as needed and such. capitalism never said anything about efficiency except maybe about price. but I repeat myself..
        • who said anything about efficiency

          Um, you did.

          Please explain to me again how Capitalism organizes the economy for the most efficient use of resources

    • It defines efficiency as capitalism, circular logic.

    • Please explain to me again how Capitalism organizes the economy for the most efficient use of resources.
       

      Because if London had true capitalism, Heathrow would have ten runways. That way, British Airways would have a place to stack up all its delayed flights.

      • How would London Heathrow have 10 runways if there was true capitalism? To expand the airport would require the removal of probably 6 or 7 parishes and 4 reservoirs by my count. If anything capitalism is the main reason why Heathrow can't expand as it would take far more than money to renovate the airport than these flight spots are worth.
    • There are quite a number of ways to measure efficiency, and you're only focusing on one.

      1) Given the Rules, this is efficient. The rules may be dumb, but that doesn't negate them.
      2) Price stability is another form of efficiency. Given #1) this helps provide efficient pricing model.
      3) I'm sure there is a great deal of pressure for more runways, but I am equally sure there are all sorts of rules and pressure preventing additional runways from being built. Likewise, Additional Alternate Airports are not likely

    • This one's caused by poor management, not capitalism. Heathrowe's management set the condition for keeping a slot as 80% utilization by flights. If they want to maximize airport utilization, the metric they should be using is average number of passengers per slot pair.

      Each airline should bid a number of passengers they think they can fly during that slot pair (paying a set amount per each passenger they bid). If an airline's actual number of passengers drops below 80% the next highest bid, then the sl
  • by Anonymous Coward

    The actual reason is because of identity politics. There are people in UK who identify as Ghosts, and therefore there need to be ghost flights to satisfy the politics of inclusion.
    I hear Zombie flights are also coming up, and also Attack Helicopter flights, and also special planes outfitted with fake grass flooring, wood walls, and plenty of greenery for treesexuals.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 20, 2018 @01:19PM (#56981462)

    Amazing that the carbon footprint of unnecessary jet fuel expenditures isn't even brought into question.

    • And why would it be? Airlines have to report CO2 emissions and the programs they use to get them down. Also you can drive from Cardiff to Heathrow in about 2hours. That very short and very light plane trip can probably be done daily for a year before it even compares to one inter-continental flight.

    • It absolutely is. It's only a five minute video.

      It's about three minutes in.

    • A recent study asking Americans to pick the greatest threats from a list ... found that almost no one picked global warming.
  • Passengers aren't required on some flights... they just move letters and shipments. Also, if a population is moving, sometimes there's nobody on the return flight for months... think Boston to Florida.

    So, we've got half a story here.. this must be a SlowNewsDay.

  • Incentivizing flying empty planes to earn $$$ trading slots!

    650 slot pairs exist per day, so airlines are prepared to drop massive cash in order to get prime slot pairs. And they can trade and sell them, too. [...] Should an airline fail to use their slot at least 80 percent of the time...

    So why not recover more revenue from users? Add some additional rules to prevent congestion by empty planes: Should an airline fail to use their slot at least 80 percent of the time not counted as used when the p

  • "Business does things for business reasons that would be kind of probably inexplicable if done by hobbyists, or something"
  • Or at least seriously suboptimal. Instead of flying empty planes, Heathrow should charge a "non-usage fee" which is a few thousand dollars less than the "ghost flight" costs.

    More or less cost neutral to the airline; raises some income for Heathrow ... and saves the jet fuel, wear and tear ...

  • A whole bunch of stuff copied from the article - but it leave out the use it or lose it part... The reader has to guess or go to the other article.
    • by SeaFox ( 739806 )

      Not sure if the summary was edited after you post, but the "use it or lose it part" is right there -- the last sentence of the summary.

  • by rnturn ( 11092 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @02:32PM (#56981882)

    Make them outrageously high. But discount the actual landing fee by dividing it--or somehow scale it down--by the number of "souls" on-board. Eventually some bean counter will wonder if it's actually worth it to be hanging on to those slots that are not being used by actual fare-paying passengers. Perhaps the airports could do the same with jet fuel and make fuel cost more when it's used to fly an empty aircraft. It's seems to me to be the height of stupidity to burn up fuel--fuel that the airlines are constantly complaining is too expensive--to fly empty planes.

    • Take-off fees, yes; but not landing fees. We don't want pilots pressured into choosing a riskier landing due to fees. I'm picturing a scenario where they don't want to divert from bad weather because their alternative field has a high landing fee and management is breathing down their necks about it whenever they land there.

    • by DRJlaw ( 946416 )

      Make them outrageously high. But discount the actual landing fee by dividing it--or somehow scale it down--by the number of "souls" on-board

      That mechanism is called Tickets. The "souls" pay money for them, and they offset the costs of the landing fees.

      Perhaps the airports could do the same with jet fuel and make fuel cost more when it's used to fly an empty aircraft.

      And gasoline! No passengers in your car? 10x the cost. Surely you're willing to employ that sort of rule in your own life...

  • I seem to remember reading or watching a program that described this happening elsewhere. Maybe Hong-Kong. Apparently there's politics involved too with those who own the slots and renting them out. The airport has lost control over who lands in a slot. There were a bunch of small private jets that wanted to gain access and are having issues - but the slots are being sold to the highest bidder. Plus have a long lead time.

  • by Liket ( 63131 ) on Friday July 20, 2018 @08:53PM (#56983528) Homepage

    Time for Heathrow to overbook the slot pairs then, just in case some airlines don't really use them. Airlines ought to appreciate the treatment, considering how familiar they are with the process!

  • This video is interesting until it gets preachy about climate change enviromentalism tell other people what to do with their planes bullshit.

  • Hey, why build a an airplane set for a movie when you can just get on a ghost flight! You would have to of course do the cost benefit analysis to see if the price for the tickets for each cast/crew member was worth it vs building the set.

There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about. -- John von Neumann

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